The weather is here I wish you were beautiful

3 days into school and im ready for it to be over. Everyone says dont be so anxious for it to be over, but i am. I am ready to move on, do something productive with my life that doesnt involve me sitting in 3 different classrooms everyday for an hour and a half. Yea there is college after highschool but there is alot more freedom that comes with college. Its all up to you, you cant depend on anyone else or blame your mistakes on anyone else. Its all up to you. While that sounds very scary it also sounds like a beautiful challenge. One i want to take on, and accomplish.
There are so many times i wish i were graduating early, graduating with almost all of my closest friends. The ones i look up to, and have such a good time with, and confide in and who mean so much to me. But then i would miss out on a year of theater, my greatest passion. The end of the year is going to be the hardest for me. But i will get through it, and move onto next year, where i will have great shoes to fill, and alot to accomplish. Maybe this is my punnishment for having more in common with kids older than me, my punnishment for becoming such good friends with people i knew would end up leaving before me. But i would have missed out on alot of great memories, talks, and overall good times. But with these close friends going off to college, it only opens a new door for me, a door which holds road trips and parties and times to hang out with them. So i guess it wont be totally tragic. I hope.



"The weather is here I wish you were beautiful
The skies are too clear life's easy today
The beer is too cold, the daquiri's too fruitiful
There's no place like home when it's this far away
I don't care what they say"

Long Days Long Nights part two!

second first day of school was today.
Yea school isnt the greatest, but its fun to see some people everyday that i usually dont see.
Nothing exciting happened today
Thats all

Long Days, Long Nights

First say of school, a very long day. I like block scheduling, and i think i will really like it as long as we do stuff the whole class, i am too ADD to sit in class and read or listen to rules or lectures, it just doesnt happen. So today was a long day to get thru.
Highlights of My Day.
* First hour chemistry, with quinn, and kaila and stephanie.

*Not being allowed to sit on the floor becuase the loser security guard that used to be in the parking lot moved to the the drama/auditorium area of the school.

*Rehearsal

*sitting in the make up room talking to rob and tedy

* the ditzy freshman in design tech who say "like" and "Ohmygod" was too many times

* Miss Katie Lacher my math buddy

* No more spanish

* My crazy math teacher

*7 minute Passing Periods

* They played U2 during the passing period

* Rob came back to crew!

* My new planner

* How cute one boy looked today!!!

* My long conversation with him

* FInding out the cute boy in design tech, is a sophmore and been expelled from 9 schools in the last 2 years

Overall it wasnt too bad of a day
Part 2 Day 2 comes along tomorrow.

o yea and i want to say how proud i am of a certian two boys

Yo Ho Ho Ho its a pirates life for me!

Tonight was basicly the last night of summer that i could do whatever i wanted. I took alittle trip down to tucson to do some shopping, got 10 shirts and 2 skirts. Came home took a two hour nap and then went to a movie. Pirates of the Carribbean, it was a good movie, except i didnt like the skeletons, yuck. School starts in 1 day. Im not looking forward to it as much as i thought i was. I hate change, the fact that people change, or grow apart, or lose intrest in something they once loved. My sisters starting high school and that scares me, i still look at her like shes 10, now shes got a boyfriend and going off to high school. I think i have an idea of what i want to do when i graduate, and i think i want to stay here for school, but i dont want to at the same time. The only thing holding me back is family. I dont like the fact that i will probably lose touch with some of my closest friends, after we graduate, they all have big plans, they know where they want to go and what they want to be, and none of them want to stay here. I dont like the fact that most of my friends are graduating this year, and im stuck here for another year. I dont want these next two years to go by to fast. I want so much, but can only have so little. Im not in the greatest of moods tonight. Im frustrated, and analyizing myself far more than i should. For instance i realized how if i start a job i have to be the one who finishes it. i need to have that feeling of accomplishment, something i started and finsihed, And i get so mad when someone takes something ive started and finishes it. its not the greatest quality. I get frustrated when people dont listen to me. I hate how immature some people can be. I want to get away from everything and everyone here for 1 day, just spend a day somewhere left alone, becuase im so frustrated right now. I like smaller group get togethers, i like intelectual converstations where i can walk away feeling like i learned something, i dont like how people try to change my opinions on things just becuase i dont believe what they believe or they feel my beliefs are wrong. I dont like how some people try so hard to be something they are not. Or how people change in a matter of a second and get weird and i dont understand why. I dont like how people can joke around so much and then when someone jokes with them they get mad, or how everyone takes me so seriously. Or why people feel they need to change me, or yell at me or talk down to me. I dont understand why people dont realize life is hard, and they think everything should go fine with them.
Im so confused, and i just dont know what to make of all of this jumbled up mess inside my head